Meh...

Im so unpatient...All i want is to hit the 20lb loss mark lol Good news is i learned to love fish and grapefruit. Hope i can get a double pound day tomorrow!


Todays weight : Day 13-  185lbs= 13 lbs loss!
Staring weight:                198lbs  

I havent been perfect : /

So even tho im like 11-12 pds down (my cheapo scale sucks), i been a big fat FAIL...I do the strict diet 98% of the time but lately at night i cave in hard....of course the worst time to eat something bad. I dont know why but during the day, the diet is a piece of cake but the sun goes down and i will go postal for a piece of cake! I dont know if its my lack of will power or my body that is sugar craving sensitive since i take diabetes meds for my PCOS. I used to get physically sick if i didnt eat sugar after a meal. I dont know, im angry at myself but with how my body functions when it comes to sugar, im a lil sympatheic to myself. Right now i just have alot bitterness that i even gotta be on this diet :(

Todays weight : Day 12-  187lbs= 11 lbs loss!
Staring weight:                198lbs  

Stalling...

Son of a buhhhh...Gonna work extra hard to get break thru it and get 2 pounds down by tomorrow...If not, i will do a dreaded " apple day" . UGH. A big problem is i lost all sensation of hunger, actually dont even want to eat and practically have to force myself. In good news, my muffin top hasnt magically reappear. I love my new flat yet fat belly. Now just have to work on the fat part.

The Biggest & most Important difference

Since i started this diet something AMAZING has happened and it might sound a lil nuts....But i lost my HUGE stomach! No seriously, something in my old diet obviously was causing swelling & bloating making  my stomach so abnormally inflated. It wasnt "fat" , basicly it was allergic reaction to what i was ingesting. It has to be either white flour, sugar or dairy ( which has been cut out)and I  had an allergic like affect on my body.  Even my face has a less swollen fat look.  But to go from looking literally 2nd -3rd trimester pregnant to a FLAT shaped belly in this short of a time (and this started after 1 day on the diet!) is the ultimate amazzzzzing achievement . Even when i was 15 pds lighter before, my stomach didnt look nowhere as good as it does now so now im really curious to know with an additional 25 lbs loss would make look like- hello abs maybe? haha in my dreams! Also i have a gut feeling ( no pun intended lol) that im a bit more sensitive to hcg levels effecting me in a positive, more effective way due to my severe hormone imbalance. So my hope is i will lose more then a typical person would lose faster on the hcg drops. Im ready to prove my theory right.....because im always right :)

1st Milestone!

I dont know how ....But i reached the 10pd loss mark today! With how bad my body was reacting taking the HCG on my period, i decided to stop taking the drops for a couple of days and eat whatever the hell i want. Well last night i took that to a bad extreme, ok so this is where my shameful yet blunt honest confessions comes in LOL I had Taco Bell for dinner, then i went out with my hubby to a metal show where we split a pitcher of beer and then i went on a craaazzzzzzy McDonalds binge: Double cheese burger, chicken nuggets with ranch, a large Dr.Peppers and chocolate chip cookies and a big brownie from 7/11. Yeah thats pretty effing BAD! Good thing is for some odd reason, none of it tasted as good as i thought it would after dieting so strictly and it had me feeling super gross & sick like where i was like " Ok, never cheating again, that soooo wasnt delish enough to be worth it!" So i was scared shit to face the scale today, i even planned on avoiding until a few days back on the diet. But im not big on surprise so i stepped on the scale, even after eating breakfast....it said "188" WHAT !!?? I must of step on and off a good 8 times at least thinking something was wrong, i misread, maybe it said i was back to 198...nope, I freaking lost 2lbs  after i  mustve eaten 3-4 thousand calories last night alone! Im still in utter shock!!! So good news is i dont think i will crave fast food again and im soooo into this diet now, all i ate today was an egg, an orange and black coffee and im gonna have to force feed myself dinner because i have no feelings of hunger whatsoever. Next Milestone : reach my old 175 , my ultimate stuck problem weight barrier and battle my hardest to break it! Im pumped!

Not a good day : /

Didnt lose anything today : (  and can i mention....Im fucking starving!!! The thought of boiled chicken ,grilling meat, veggies...i wanna huuurrrrl! I just want a freaking sandwich and a brownie- is that too much to ask for? Not to be TMI, Im actually allowed to cheat now cuz i have my period (says to stop taking drops & dieting  during period) but i stuck it out 3 days into it...BTW i think the drops made it come over 10 days early ugghh!I dont know how tonight is gonna end up but i feel like im gonna cry if i dont get to some carbs r sugar asap!

What's for Dinnah?

Boiled chicken & Broccoli- then chopped up and stirfryed with a sauce made from lemon, garlic, a lil soy sauce, sea salt, onion & garlic powder. O, and with the breadsticks. I WAS going for a chinese chicken w/ broccoli style dish but it had more of scampi taste . Taste waaaaay better then it looks, it was pretty amazing. Even my husband was very impressed how great it was.  Def will be a dinner fav!

All in a days work...

Nothing is worse then walking into a gourmet Italian deli on this diet...The cookies, bread, cheese, pasta and all the pork! .BUT i found the grissini breadsticks (only "bread" allowed besides melba toast, eww!) Those zesty pickled red peppers (only had water, vinegar and salt in it , all allowed) and i got a 1/2 pd of roast beef for my lunches for a couple days.Wraped a couple of slices in lettce with the peppers and i left this sense of " Ok, this is doable, i can make it..without some really fresh yummy F%$king Italian bread!" Ok, I still am bitter about bread but im happy to discover a way to have a "sandwich" without it. So im pretty content.

For breakfast, got a strawberry smoothie (ice, fresh strawberries , lil lemon & stevia) and 2 cups of black coffee. Dinner im still confused about, probably gonna go with chicken & broccoli stirfry-ish type of thing.
Oooo and i was a good girl & went for a stroll.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY...I am determine to hit my double digit weight loss goal tomorrow!

Awesomeness!

I just woke up so not much to say but....I hit 190!!! So that means chances are tomorrow ill be in my 180's , 3 days ahead of the game! double digit loss within a week! ok, ok i shouldnt get ahead of myself but seriously this is awesome news..Now im going back to sleep HaHa

Todays weight : Day 6-  190lbs= 8 lbs loss!
Staring weight:            198lbs  

Time to get creative with bland food

Like i said, i only had some frozen chicken tenders as my lunch option ( which i really didnt want) . My current craving was pasta/sauce so i took a tomato diced, garlic, parsley, sea salt , onion & garlic powder and organic chicken brooth ...wah-la! Kinda like a sauce? Boiled the chicken , diced it and cooked it together with the sauce. Pretty good....I started to have a low sugar crash afterwards so i made my strawberries with unsweetened cocoa w/ stevia again and it works like a charm! For dinner im gonna have steak wrapped in lettece ( aka fajitas?). Right now, i need to get my water on cuz i def didnt drink nearly enough...My DREAM will be to reach 190 tommorrow, lets see if that happens!

Day 5 (Begining of a 3rd low calorie day)

Well ...Im 3lbs less this morning -wooohooo!! Now i FINALLY feel encouraged and determined.

Todays food so far:

• Black coffee
• an orange
• 2 mini Melba toasts

Ugh, i dont even wanna think about lunch cuz i really DONT want grilled chicken as my protein but thats all i got here. Time to do some creative brain storming!

Todays weight : Day 5-  192lbs= 6 lbs loss!
Staring weight:              198lbs  

My Inspiration & role model

I do not want to be " skinny" , I like curves. I just dont wanna be considered "fat" ya know? Thats why i LOVE the old fashion Pin Up type girls because they are the perfect example that curves are sexier then being "thin". Im not one to idolize, i rarely even think to myself that another chick is pretty or " aw man , i wish i looked like her". However, when i see a redhead hourglass figured woman , i like drool. Not because im going gay but because that's my IDEAL of the ultimate beauty ! The perfect example of this is Christina Hendricks from Mad Men. I identify with her so much and just in awe of her looks. She's super curvy, prob def in the double digits in dress size however it's the way she carries it that makes it not even matter, if anything makes it even more acceptable to be bigger then a size 8. If i could get my body is any kind of shape, this would be it. And it's waaaaay more realistic then wanting to look a sickly 125lbs- take that skinny bitches!

No, Im not pregnant...Im just fat!

This was me last week (at my heaviest)...As you see my belly is abnormally large! I started to get the fat upper arms and my chin & neck have become 1....not good....However im grateful i got skinny legs and no butt, one big fear of mine is chicken legs if i lose weight but i rather have that then look 7 months pregnant!

Day 4

To much of my disappointment there wasnt much of a loss after finishing a full day of "suffering". It looks like only 1lb. Maybe i was being unrealistic expecting 3lbs loss overnight. So between Day1-4 i went from 198lbs to 195lbs. My goal is to break into the 180's within 10 days. I think thats managable.

So today i had :

• Venti Black coffee from Starbucks
• 1 whole egg + a egg white scrambled
• Apple slices with cinnamon and a splash of vanilla heated up
• 4oz of roast beef coldcuts
• 4 mini melbas
• Shrimp with broccoli
• strawberries dipped in cocoa & stevia

The downfall of today was literally me almost falling down at work from my body spazzing out from the shock to the system this diet is causing on my body. Lets hope it's worth it when i see the scale tomorrow!

1st mistake...

Booking my 1st low calorie day on Labor day....hello 3rd loading day!!!! However i did lose 2lbs during that. Now today was....utter hell..It didnt hit me during the morning, not too bad in the early afternoon but then...it wasnt pretty anymore. but gladdly i stuck it out. Now i better see a 3lbs loss in morning for this shit . Until then im not feeling very encouraged. IM STARVING!

What the hell Happened to me!?!?!

Well the anwser to that is a pretty bad case of PCOS that has murdered my body & looks the last 10 years. The 1st 18 years of my life i looked like a perfect Barbie doll then within a years time i was a cow. To make a long story short, now my weight has hit rock bottom. I have taking meds for the last 5 years for my PCOS that helped prevent weight gain....well up til last year. I hit the heaviest i will ever accept being ...Drum roll please.....198lbs! I CANNOT let myself get into the 200's.  The only time i been able to lose weight is being pregnant and nursing- yes, talk about freak of nature. Ive seen in myself that higher hcg levels in my body makes me lose weight so what could be better then a hcg diet? My goal is to get in my 160's by the time i finish my 1st bottle ( HCG Platinum) . Let the Experiment begin!